The ritual might work. In 2006, shortly after REI Denver hosted its "Burning of the Twinx," a mighty blizzard occurred that produced the sixth highest single-day snowfall in Colorado history. A year later, the Twinkie event preceded 59 days of mountain snow over a 62-day stretch.

Staffers here at REI headquarters near Seattle convened just this week to roast this year's crop of Twinkies. That indicates we have some believers here on campus, or that lots of us health-minded folks at REI just want a once-a-year excuse to scarf junk sweets.

Guilty sugar-high confession: I crept away from the mob, hid in a dark corner and mainlined 3 of them.

Now we hear news that the company that makes Twinkies is shutting down. This is tremendously sad news for the thousands of workers whose jobs are affected. We feel sincerely sorry for anyone affected and extend our sympathy.

This means farewell to fun-inclined indulgences such as Twinkies (a snack culture icon), Ho-Hos, Snowballs and Ding Dongs. (“Yo; Ding Dong, man. Ding Dong. Ding Dong. Yo.” —pivotal dialogue from the Weird Al Yankovic video Fat. See below.)

So, now what do we do? Plop some Oreos in a Jetboil? Toast some Clif Bars over a WhisperLite? Fry some Honey Stinger Waffles with an MSR Pocket Rocket?

We’re still mulling our cream-filled options. Meanwhile, RIP (Roast in Peace) Twinkie. So who’s got a suggestion for a replacement ritual?

Note: We initially goofed on our math. The Twinkie-roasting tradition has a 35-year history at REI, not the 25 we mention in our graphic.