Après Encounters: A Field Guide to North American Shotskis

Learn how to size up local varieties and avoid dangerous Shotski encounters with this quick-reference spotters guide.


1. The Bro Bird

Also known simply as Woo! near university campuses, this social shotski is easily identified by its bright red markings. Commonly resides in dives, dorm rooms and anywhere PBR flows from a tap. Note the extra cup for spontaneous friend making and bad decisions. Middle-aged après skiers should approach with caution.

2. Swank Ninja

With antique bindings and champagne-flute glassware, this elegant breed flourishes at home dinner parties. Occasionally makes unwelcomed cameos at weddings and other inappropriate venues your cousin keeps showing up to. Fully functional binding allows a quick getaway, assuming no one noticed the ski boot lurking beneath your formal wear.

3. The Maverick

This perennial badboy hides in plain sight with late-80s attitude and a unique triple-chair cup design. Added maneuverability allows an element of surprise for ambushing low-key hangouts and awkward family affairs. May or may not include a mustachioed nod to well-stached wingmen everywhere. Cheers, Goose.

4. Powder Raven

A fitting ode to its mystical namesake, this stainless steel masterpiece lurks in rustic A-frames and the slope-side lairs of reformed hipsters. Magnetized cups offer easy grooming and remind us of the innate lure of last call. May respond negatively to spirits doused with peppermint, licorice or unidentified gold flakes.

5. Backcountry Scholar

Emanating raw power and intellect, this hand-carved relic displays four blown-glass reservoirs and the pure agony of old-school bindings. You probably got a splinter just reading this. Though highly immobile, this magnificent beast is fully functional and reserved for true masters of quick-sipping refinement.

Shotski Pro Tip:  Never put your short friend in the middle. Their eyes, face, hair and clothing will thank you.

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