{"id":179266,"date":"2022-07-11T10:22:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-11T17:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rei.com\/blog\/?p=179266"},"modified":"2022-09-13T12:32:12","modified_gmt":"2022-09-13T19:32:12","slug":"the-rules-of-hiking-with-teens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rei.com\/blog\/hike\/the-rules-of-hiking-with-teens","title":{"rendered":"The Rules of Hiking with Teens"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My 13-year-old daughter recently told us that she knows a Saturday is going to suck (her words, not mine) when she wakes up and mom is playing Tom Petty, since that means we\u2019re going for a hike. It\u2019s true: My wife likes to blast \u201cFull Moon Fever\u201d while we pack and make sandwiches.\u202f<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

I don’t mind hiking if we go somewhere cool, but this is the worst music to listen to. \u2014Cooper<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve been hiking Pisgah National Forest with our twins, Addie and Cooper, since they could hold their heads up. While packing out poopy diapers wasn\u2019t awesome, those early years were mostly joyous, full of discovery (butterflies!) and adventure (boulders!). But my babies are teenagers now, seemingly annoyed by our sheer existence. They communicate mostly through eye rolls of varying severity and strategically selected memes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Also a series of conversations where we express our opinions that you seem to have forgotten. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

And what they continue to tell us through this enigmatic language is that they hate hiking. Maybe \u201chate\u201d is too strong of a word, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Nope. Nailed it. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

but just getting them to the trailhead a couple of times a month is a Herculean feat. We\u2019ve tried several tactics, from prepping them days in advance to surprising them in the car en route to the woods, like taking a dog to the vet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

That\u2019s the exact feeling. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Nothing works. There are always complaints. Or worse, a dead silence that tells me they will not be kind to us in our advanced years. Yet, we still make them go. Regularly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I\u2019m being honest, I thought parenting would have gotten easier by now. But I feel like my job as a parent is just getting started. I always thought stuffing two babies into backpacks and carrying them miles from the nearest changing table was as hard as it would get, but I\u2019ll take constant ear infections over the sex talk any day. I\u2019ll take a toddler tantrum in the Target checkout line over my 13-year-old son\u2019s cold stare because I suggested spending the afternoon traipsing through the forest, instead of doing what he wants to do\u2014which apparently is watching strangers play video games on YouTube.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

That was so long ago. Now I watch sports highlights on Pinterest. \u2014Cooper<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

But here\u2019s the thing about hiking: They secretly love it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

No we don’t. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

In the woods, they forget that they\u2019re supposed to be surly teenagers and actually enjoy themselves. Out there, away from TikTok and text messages, my teenagers turn into delightful human beings again. They are silly and adventurous and engaged. You can ask them questions and they\u2019ll respond. Not just one-syllable answers either. Full sentences. Like a conversation. It\u2019s amazing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

I admit I don\u2019t hate the outdoors, it\u2019s just that the process is exhausting. I get carsick, I get hungry and I think walking in the woods for no reason is absurd. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Out on the trail, they like to stage \u201cnear-disaster photos\u201d where they\u2019ll arrange the camera angle so it looks like they\u2019re dangling over a cliff\u2019s edge, holding on by just a few fingers. I like to send those pictures to their grandparents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

I don’t think they enjoy it as much as we do. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

To be honest, I really don\u2019t care if my kids like hiking. I\u2019m pretty sure there\u2019s scientific proof that hiking makes us better people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

I’m gonna need to see those lab results. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s my job as a parent, right?\u202fTo produce good people? So yeah, my wife and I make our kids hike. Ultimately, it\u2019s worth the effort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

So. Much. Effort. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s worth the eye rolls and deep sighs and slammed doors and the long car rides where they get agitated with me because I\u2019m breathing too loud. In fact, I\u2019m sure those moments are exactly what I\u2019ll look back on most fondly\u2014going through the changes, including how sanguine they may be in the face of hiking, is the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you hike with your kids, you get to measure how they change against the wilderness around them. My wife likes to mark their growth by re-creating photos of the kids on the same trail we\u2019ve hiked over the years. This is absolute torture for our\u202fchildren,\u202fbut they\u202fhave to\u202fdo\u202fit\u202for I won\u2019t let them ride in the car home (just kidding, but not really). My kids, too, note how a certain scramble is easier than the last time they tried it, or how a boulder isn\u2019t as big anymore. It\u2019s like walking into your old elementary school and marveling over the tiny desks. And it only happens if you make your kids get back on the trail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To help other parents in this challenge, I\u2019ve compiled some rules for surviving nature with teenagers (well, my teenagers, at least). I hope they help make a walk in the woods with your offspring a little more enjoyable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Five Rules to Make Hiking with Teens (Mostly) Fun<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Temper your enthusiasm.<\/strong> If a teenager shows interest in something along the trail, a parent\u2019s enthusiasm for that fauna\/flora\/trail building\/history\/geology will quickly scare that teenager off. If your teen mentions it might be fun to jump in a swimming hole, remain calm. Shrug mildly and say something like, \u201cIf you want to.\u201d Under no circumstances should you bring up any interesting facts that would better your teenager\u2019s understanding of the world around them, even if, from your eager perspective, they\u2019re basically asking you for a full lecture on the wonders of fungi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Obsessing over something ruins its value. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

They know everything they need to know already. Stop trying to turn everything into a teachable moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Exactly. You don’t have to make everything a lesson. \u2014Cooper<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Interesting landmarks suck.<\/strong> Teenagers don\u2019t care about 360-degree views or waterfalls or unusually large and old trees. Man, do teenagers hate old-growth forests. They watched two hours of TikTok videos right before the hike, so an ancient hemlock doesn\u2019t register in their brains. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

It’s a tree, get over it. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I think it has something to do with dopamine receptors. And ultimately, that\u2019s OK. Teenagers don\u2019t have to enjoy nature in the exact same way their parents enjoy nature. As long as you\u2019re giving them the opportunity to find what they love out there, you\u2019re doing your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make the hike really hard.<\/strong> Physically demanding hikes are more interesting to teenagers. Competition helps, too. We like to settle disputes in our family with foot races, and my kids love to see how they\u2019re getting closer and closer to beating me. Adding an element of danger will also light up the risk\/reward portion of their brain. Rock-hopping across a raging river, using a rope to downclimb a steep rock face, scrambling up boulders: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

I like all of this. \u2014Cooper<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

These risky situations will turn your teenager into an enthusiastic human being for a short period of time and should be sought out in abundance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No phones. <\/strong>This sounds like a no-brainer, but it\u2019s more nuanced than a blanket \u201cno phone\u201d rule. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

And yet, you seem to be on your phone 70% of the time. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

What I mean is no YouTube, no texting friends, no disappearing into a set of earbuds and whatever moody, overproduced pop passes for music these days. If they want to use their phones to take a picture, that\u2019s great. If they want to borrow your phone to use the plant identification app to see if they can eat that green leafy thing on the side of the trail, that\u2019s acceptable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

You’re such a nerd, Dad. \u2014Addie<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Ice cream is everything.<\/strong> This last rule proves that even at the ripe, jaded age of 13, my teenagers are still children. Because they will hike miles for mint chocolate chip. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

You’re right. Ice cream is the GOAT. \u2014Cooper<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I wish I could figure out a way to bring ice cream out on the trail with us, because low blood sugar doesn\u2019t just affect toddlers; teenagers also get cranky when they go too long without a hit of sugar. YETI, if you\u2019re reading this, develop a backpack cooler that keeps ice cream frozen until mile 5 on a hot summer day. Until some company drops their backcountry ice cream pack, a scoop of strawberry on the way home will just have to be the carrot we dangle to get them through one more mile, one more climb. In a way, it\u2019s comforting to know that frozen treats are still as much a motivator now as when the kids were toddling. So much has changed with our children\u2014and our relationship with them\u2014since then. But ice cream is a constant. A steady, delicious, motivating constant.<\/p>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My 13-year-old daughter recently told us that she knows a Saturday is going to suck (her words, not mine) when she wakes up and mom is playing Tom Petty, since that means we\u2019re going for a hike. It\u2019s true: My wife likes to blast \u201cFull Moon Fever\u201d while we pack and make sandwiches.\u202f I don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30028,"featured_media":179917,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[387],"tags":[921,156,707,727],"internal-tag":[],"class_list":["post-179266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hike","tag-essay","tag-family","tag-hiking","tag-latest-posts"],"parsely":{"version":"1.1.0","canonical_url":"https:\/\/rei.com\/blog\/hike\/the-rules-of-hiking-with-teens","smart_links":{"inbound":0,"outbound":0},"traffic_boost_suggestions_count":0,"meta":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"The Rules of Hiking with Teens","url":"http:\/\/www.rei.com\/blog\/hike\/the-rules-of-hiking-with-teens","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/www.rei.com\/blog\/hike\/the-rules-of-hiking-with-teens"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.rei.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/07\/hiking_with_teens.jpg?resize=150%2C150","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\/\/www.rei.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/07\/hiking_with_teens.jpg?fit=1500%2C480"},"articleSection":"Hike","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Erin Berger"}],"creator":["Erin Berger"],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Uncommon Path \u2013 An REI Co-op Publication","logo":""},"keywords":["essay","family","hiking","latest posts"],"dateCreated":"2022-07-11T17:22:00Z","datePublished":"2022-07-11T17:22:00Z","dateModified":"2022-09-13T19:32:12Z"},"rendered":"